“You are a part of me. You are deep in my heart. So deeply that you really became a part of me”, the words that every moment since their meeting Frank Sinatra dedicated to Ava Gardner, the best woman in his life. She looked at it with the green eyes of the cats. They were made for each other! No one would have believed that a few hours ago Frank was grasping at the gun: «I’ll kill the bitch!» And Ava would throw an engagement ring out the window, and that they would argue as soon as they got out of bed.
They say it was love at first sight, since the meeting at the premiere of the film «Gentlemen prefer blondes». Sinatra just lost his head. It’s like she put something in his drink…
But that’s the only way it works at first sight when people are the same, and they’re stuck together with each other through childhood memories, trauma, resentment and dreams.
Frank’s early years
Frank was born into a family of poor Italian emigrants, worked as a sports reporter, showman in restaurants, and played trumpet in a jazz orchestra. He has been credited with being associated with the Mafia – it is thought that gangsters called him the Voice: «Our Voice can sing even a phone book». Incredible talent, a bit of luck – and here Frank has a contract with «Columbia» for 10 years and earnings of 50 thousand dollars per year. He married Nancy, a girl from his expatriate district, his first love.
Ava’s story is the story of Cinderella
She was born into a farm family, spent her childhood running barefoot, and then she often remembered: the heels were like the soles of a boot. Apart from the Bible, there were no books in the house, and Ava was never very educated. Ava’s mother worried about her bright, exotic flower beauty; forbade her to wear makeup and forced her to wear hoodies that concealed her figure. But you can’t hide from your fate: Ava’s sister was married to a photographer, he had a few quick shots at her with a camera, the pictures caught the eyes of MGM and the girl was invited to Hollywood.
You are deep in my heart
Frank started by telling Ava to be friends: to go to the boxing room together, to cook Italian dishes, to drive a convertible and to fire a revolver into the moon. Ava was delighted to play this friendship for about a week, and then fell into the arms of America’s pet.
My friends warned me, Frank doesn’t know how to love. Journalists called Ava a whore. Fans turned away from Frank one by one: everyone liked a guy who made himself and married his first girlfriend, no one liked a famous singer who left his family for a Hollywood doll. Sinatra didn’t care. He hugged his Ava.
She came to Sinatra’s concert – the audience greeted her with slurs and insulting screams. Ava and Frank went on a vacation – they were tracked down by a high-level reporter, and Frank fought the bravest. She couldn’t take the bullying, went to the hospital with a nervous breakdown. Sinatra wanted a divorce, but his manager said: «Divorce, but forget about the singer’s career forever». He could not go to that.
Ava saw her lover wavering, went on a shoot to Spain, and had an affair with her production partner. Frank was freaking out, and he even tried to get sedated. When he came to, I knew he’d be miserable without a scene, without Ava, he’d be gone. He got a divorce and proposed to the woman he loved.
It was like the ending of a beautiful fairy tale: a luxurious wedding in Philadelphia and a honeymoon in Miami. Then began an ordinary life, to which both were completely unsuited. Everyone wanted to play the first violin!
These were bad times for Frank: America boycotted him. People stopped buying his records, and there were no more sold-out concerts. Ava was doing well, the directors were tearing her apart. She did not tire of reminding about this Sinatra, all the time said that more successful, demanded, earns more – so, «do what I say».
Frank kept looking at the side – even if other women aren’t as beautiful as Ava, he doesn’t feel like a pussy with them! Ava was not the type to tolerate adultery in silence; in return, she flirted with everyone she met. Family life has become an endless scandal.
One good thing – Sinatra sought comfort in his work, and soon regained his former popularity, and with her a crowd of fans. Ava went to Europe, went to parties to distract herself. One day she decided to try bullfighting. The horse threw her, and the bull hit her in the face with a horn. By this time, Ava and Sinatra had divorced, but he rushed to support his poor girl.
And so it was all their life: «together close, apart boring». They were drawn to each other, and immediately repulsed. There was always someone with her, with him too, but they loved each other only. Frank married two more times, but he didn’t seem to notice he was married.
When Ava died in 1990 at the age of 68, Sinatra’s daughter found him on the floor, crying and unable to speak. He was still eight years old.
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